The 14 Most Important Things I Learned My First Year Homeschooling
I did it! I made it through my first official year of homeschooling my 5-year-old. Yes, it was just Kindergarten, but still, toss a rambunctious 3-year-old and a newborn into the mix, and getting anything accomplished was daunting. Yet looking back at the end of the school year, I realize what an awful lot of learning we all did! 
I’ve had this post planned/outlined for a while. Homeschool let out over a month ago, and I’ve been so busy enjoying the freedom, that I haven’t sat down to refine my thoughts for the screen till now.
Here it is. If I could go back to last September, this is the list I would hand to myself (before fleeing back to the wonderful, warm summertime!):
1. I don’t have to follow anyone else’s schedule.
I am not a morning person. Forget the fact that I used to get up on a regular basis at 5:30 a.m. to work in a bakery. That was a different life. A single life. Back then, I could go to bed early and a child never woke me in the dead of night.
Now, caring for a family keeps me busy till late, and going to bed doesn’t mean I’m not still on-call. End result? If I am able to sleep past seven or eight in the morning, I’ll likely snatch the opportunity to refuel my energy. Heaven knows I’m going to need it!
Understanding this (and the fact that breakfast prep, eating, and cleanup takes way too long), I began the school year with a written schedule where school didn’t start till 9:30. Even so, more often than not, we started at 10. Then we worked till we got through the material.
It’s okay to be flexible! This is one of the huge perks of homeschooling–you don’t have to follow the public school schedule. At home, family life is happening alongside learning, and diapers still need to be changed, loads of laundry tossed in, and meals made.
My son learned, so it worked. The schedule is not the important thing, as long as progress is being made, all in a nurturing, loving environment. My son’s reading and writing improved immensely this year. He now reads books for fun. He writes simple stories (taking after his mom! :)) He works simple math problems. He’s wowed me with his neat cursive writing, and he loves learning about animals, insects, and the world.
2. I don’t need to hover over my child every moment.
Really, I don’t. In fact, sometimes my son surprises me with the swift and accurate work he does when I’m not looking over his shoulder. Sometimes, I need to just shut up and vamoose!
Even though I’m the teacher, I can still be a distraction with my urge to micro-manage and over-teach. Learning to work independently fosters self-discipline and confidence. So start your child early and grab that moment to sweep the floor. Don’t feel guilty. You’re only a moment away if needed.
3. Opportunities for learning abound everywhere, not just in the “classroom.”
The world is our classroom. It travels with us, especially with naturally curious kids.
Constant “W” questions (why, what, when, where…) can be tiring, but they’re perfect openings for teaching eager learners.
Kids love to be a part of what you’re doing. Bake together, shop together, clean together–real life skills are valuable essentials. “Field trips” to the library, parks, museums, etc., break up monotonous days and are rich opportunities for informal teaching that will be eagerly absorbed.
4. Basics fly out of my child’s brain if not practiced on a regular basis.
I learned this the hard way last summer. All the letters and numbers mastered in our homeschool 4k were not reviewed during summer (although I had every good intention of doing so), then in September we had to backtrack.
Thankfully, my son caught up quickly. Still, it’s better to do a short review lesson every other day or so throughout the summer than to dive back in unprepared. I now leave out a little stack of learning materials (work books, flash cards, readers) in plain sight as a reminder.
5. Make sure my child knows why we are homeschooling.
“Why are you homeschooled?”
When my son told me a child had asked him this, I realized I’d never officially discussed our “reasons why” with him–something I should have done to prepare him with the confidence to answer such questions. Surely there will be many more such inquiries to come in the years ahead.
“Oh, what did you say?” I asked, sounding only mildly curious (while mentally lamenting, Oh boy, what did he say? “I have to.” “My mom makes me.” “Regular school is bad.” All of the above?).
“That my mom thinks it’s best for me.”
Okay, good answer. And then we had a nice little chat about the positives of homeschooling and why we made this choice.
6. Take one day at a time.
I won’t deny it. Some days are tough. Some days I don’t think I can do this for another moment, let alone the next who-knows-how-many years. The 3-year-old is whining (or screaming), the baby is crying, and my son won’t sit still and focus for a second. Not that it matters; I can’t even hear myself think.
That’s when it’s time for a break, whether it’s a scheduled recess time or not–we’ve got flexibility that way. I take a deep breath, grab a glass of water, lock myself in the bathroom for a minute, and remind myself that homeschooling won’t last forever, even on those days, those minutes, those seconds, that feel eternal. I’m asking for anxiety if I lump time into an endless dark tunnel.
The trials won’t last forever. God gives the grace I need now, not the grace I need ten years from now. If I reject the grace and the cross, another–perhaps heavier–cross will come. I have to set my sights on being happy forever in Heaven. That’s what we’re striving for–not for perfect happiness in this life.
Then little fists pound on the bathroom door and I go back out to the trenches.
7. Do what it takes to keep my cool.
I’m a very patient, never-yell type of parent–or so I assured myself before I had kids.
Now I’ve been tested (over and over and over and over) and I know the truth. I’m human, flawed, and impatient. Very impatient.
If I’m trying to teach and things reach a crackling point, I have to stop. A five minute break can make all the difference. This is always better than losing my cool and regretting it later.
Morning and night, I resolve to try again, to try harder. I do what I can. I pray for patience. I try to go to bed early enough so I’m better rested (I’m always more irritable when I’m tired). I walk away or move my child to another room until everyone’s calmed down.
8. I don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on good school resources.
It’s enormously tempting to buy the latest colorful books and resources in the slick new homeschool catalogs. Surely, these will make learning a joyful breeze!
Don’t get sucked into that trap. There are so many cheap and even free homeschool resources that anyone can take advantage of. And it’s the loving manner you go about teaching your kids that matters the most, not the cost of the text book.
Consider the following:
Libraries for books and educational DVDs
Used books from thrift stores, garage sales, Ebay, AbeBooks.com, and hand-me-downs from other homeschoolers.
Free online printables. Simply do a Google search!
Starfall.com
HowToHomeschoolForFree.com
SpellingCity.com
Free Catholic Heritage Curricula
Free Catholic Homeschool Printables
Free Catholic Education Printables
Do a Google search for “free Kindergarten resources” for many more great resources!
9. Have confidence
I can do this. You can do this. Half the battle is deciding, then sticking to that decision.
If you desire to homeschool, you can. Even despite your own education or lack thereof, if you have the willingness to do the work needed, to learn what you need to, and find resources, you can do this. With the grace of God, all things are possible.
And your confidence will feed your child’s confidence.
My Teacher’s Rule for Myself: The “Four C’s”
I post this simple but meaningful reminder in the schoolroom where I see it daily:
Be
Calm
Confident
Consistent
Compassionate
10. Give them a break (and me!)
Sometimes I make the mistake of trying to plow through all the material without taking the time to stop for a break. Realistically, I can’t expect that of a 5-year-old. It’s not good for me, either. Patience and nerves wear thin. I schedule a recess or take one when my son (or I!) needs one.
11. We don’t have to love every moment of it.
I think we start the school year in a half fantasy land of ideals, imagining every day will be smooth sailing, but when is that true for anything? Real life doesn’t work that way. There will be hills and mountains and ruts and canyons.
I don’t have to love the struggles, but I should try my best to work through them. My child won’t love every moment of school either, no matter how fun I may try to make the lessons. Flash cards and learning can be monotonous.
Then there’s the whole matter of discipline. Anyone who is spending an entire day (an entire school year!) with a child, has to have a discipline plan. Figure it out ahead of time so you won’t be left floundering. The more consistent you are with it, the less your child should test it. At least in theory, right?
12. Remember why I chose this.
It’s easy to get bogged down in negative thoughts, frustration, and, before I know it, I’m second- (or hundredth-) guessing my decision to homeschool.
To counter this, in a calm, confident moment, I collected my thoughts and listed my true reasons for homeschooling on a piece of paper. I posted this where I see it daily for encouragement. (And the next time someone asks me why I homeschool, I’ll be prepared with my best answers.)
Some examples from my “Why We Choose Homeschooling” list:
- We are free to incorporate God into our classroom
- To pass on our faith and morals
- To be our kids’ role models
- To know exactly what our kids are being taught
- One-on-one teaching far outweighs large-class settings
- We can accomplish more in less time
- To protect and hold our kids close while they are young, while lovingly preparing them to be responsible, moral adults
13. Remember, there’s more than one way to learn.
The three main learning styles are:
- Visual
- Auditory
- Kinesthetic
I love the fact that as my child’s parent and teacher, I am privileged to see his learning progress (or lack of) first-hand. I know my child best and can tailor the lessons, try a different approach, and spend more or less time on certain subjects as needed.
14. I can have a messy house.
Yes, I can! I saved the best for last, right?
I don’t like living with mess, but it’s a reality that I have to stop fighting. Homeschooling is full time work, and something’s gotta give.
Now when I say mess, I don’t mean anything that’s going to get me in trouble with health and safety standards. I’m talking about annoying, everyday clutter–where I might be embarrassed to have someone over, but not absolutely mortified.
To keep it manageable, I try to have a big cleaning session once a week. (Keyword, “try.”) Sometimes, every able-bodied person who lives in the house pitches in and helps clean. (Sometimes.)
I assign different areas for the kids to tidy up each day before they’re allowed to watch TV. If I’m not too tired, I also do a little cleaning each evening after the little ones are in bed. (The downside of my kids’ creativity is all the crayons, tape, string, and paper scraps that end up on the carpet.)
When I wistfully think back on my tidy little place when I lived all by myself, I have to remind myself that that was a different stage of life, and I wouldn’t trade this one for that one for anything, not even a spotless floor.
On one of the last days of school, without any prompting from me, my son said, “Mom, I like homeschool.”
“Why?” I had to ask.
“Because I like being with you.”
And just like that, I knew the entire school year had been a success.